


you make me strong

by tyongtrack



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Anorexia, Character Death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Suicide, he's a comedy relief of sorts, lucas is rlly only there for a brief second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 19:46:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyongtrack/pseuds/tyongtrack
Summary: taeyong is beautiful





	you make me strong

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning for self harm, eating disorders (specifically anorexia), and sadly, suicide. sorry i did this to you guys hsjdicgadiyu

taeyong hates the smell of old books. and he doesn't understand why he can't even have a pencil with an eraser to draw. all he has to do in between group activities is read or play cards with the other obnoxiously loud kids, and he'd rather not have a sore, red hand from the other patients slapping down too hard in a game of egyptian rat screw. 

he also cannot focus on this book for the life of him. not when there are teenagers running down the halls, the grips on their socks making an unpleasant noise upon contact with the floor.

taeyong's nurse told him he didn't have to participate in any group activities today, although it's always encouraged, due to it being his first day, and taeyong intends to do just that. 

a cough comes from his doorway (he finds it extremely annoying that he has to keep his door open) and when he looks up from his book, there is a tall boy with dyed blonde hair and a big, dumb smile plastered across his face. a smile much too big for a patient in a psych ward. that's the thing, most of these kids seemed way too happy.

"..hello?" taeyong squeaks out and, god, he hasn't heard his voice in hours. the boy jumps, like he is shocked to see that taeyong talks. 

"hi! you're new!" he says, a little too enthusiastically. 

"er, yeah"

they sit in silence until a nurse pulls the boy away and guides him to the game room.

-

taeyong leaves his room the next morning only when a nurse wakes him and says his breakfast is across the hall. 

he slowly walks into the room, the walls plastered with ridiculously happy posters. all of the patients eating already watched him as he took a seat at the end of the table. 

as a different nurse (there were way too many nurses) was getting his tray, he glanced around the table. the boy who stopped at taeyong's door the day before sat at the other end of the table. he gave taeyong a dorky smile and waved.

again, too happy to be here.

taeyong's tray of rubbery looking food was placed in front of him and he stared at it for a second. 

this was definitely not what he ordered.

he gets lost in his thoughts for a few minutes until his attention is brought to a boy with silver hair in a nike jumper and sweatpants sitting across from him. 

taeyong watches as he jokes with the nurses in the room and devours the french toast in front of him.

the boy opened his orange juice and looked up to find taeyong watching him closely. he smiles softly.

"hey," he greets. taeyong only nods in response.

"that's the new boy i saw yesterday!" obnoxious boy yells from the other side of the room. 

"yeah, i figured," silver haired boy replies. taeyong shifts uncomfortably, poking at his eggs.

"i'm ten. that's yukhei"

"taeyong," taeyong responds quietly. 

ten watches him as he shuffles the food on his plate around.

"why aren't you eating?" ten asks gently. taeyong freezes and looks up at the nurses supervising this conversation.

"ten," a nurse (he thinks her name is irene) warns sternly.

"why can't i ask-" ten stops himself, mouth forming an "o" shape as he realizes exactly why he's not allowed to ask that. 

taeyong offers him a nervous smile.

-

taeyong's nurse for the day finds him hiding in his bed after breakfast and makes him go down to the game room. there, he finds ten and yukhei playing super mario sluggers. ten turns around in the bean bag chair at the sound of the door to the game room closing. he waves taeyong over and points at the screen. 

"you know how to play?"

"uh, no thank you," taeyong replies.

yukhei pats the ground in between him and ten, inviting taeyong to sit anyways. taeyong sits down, bringing his knees to his chest and watching the bright colors on the television.

ten laughs suddenly.

"bro, you should've gotten here earlier! yukhei forgot his nurse's name and called her 'miss therapy'. fuckin' legendary," he recalls. taeyong chuckles as yukhei lets out a booming laugh.

taeyong notes how close ten and yukhei appear.

"how long have you guys been here?" taeyong questions, glancing up at ten.

"two weeks," ten replies, giggling as taeyong's eyes nearly bulge out of his head at that answer.

"i've been here three weeks, but i'm going to residential in a few days," yukhei adds to the conversation.

"ouch. i hope i get out quicker than you guys"

"it's not that bad. it's my third time here in two years," ten says, reaching down to pull up his bright yellow fuzzy socks.

taeyong wonders why yukhei and ten are here.

-

he gets the answer, for ten at least, when the art therapist asks them to paint their ideal future the next day. taeyong paints himself under a rainbow with a few dogs. ten paints a stick figure with silver hair and blood all over his wrists. ten snickers as he paints it.

ten gets scolded and told to go to his room. 

taeyong doesn't see him for the rest of the day, but asks yukhei during the movie that night if ten was going to be okay.

"he'll be fine. it happens all the time. they should really stop asking him questions about his future, honestly," yukhei answers, scooping more vanilla ice cream into his mouth.

-

ten gets to breakfast before taeyong the next day. ten grins at him as he takes a seat at the creaky table.

"hey!" ten says happily. ten cocks his head curiously.

"hi, you okay?"

ten frowns for a second but quickly replaces the sour expression with a happy one.

"yukhei and i are gonna start a new puzzle today after this! wanna join us? we wanna try and get it done before yukhei leaves for residential"

taeyong agrees and doesn't push for an answer.

-

yukhei leaves two days after they start the puzzle. so, no, the puzzle wasn't finished, but they made good progress. 

he stops into the game room before he leaves, dressed in distressed skinny jeans, a baggy hoodie, and converse. taeyong forgot how much he missed wearing shoes.

there's a no physical contact rule, execpt for high fives, so yukhei goes around the game room high fiving the patients goodbye.

taeyong swears he sees ten tear up a little when yukhei leaves the room. 

-

when ten and taeyong are doing the puzzle the next day, ten tells him that the doctor wants him to stay longer. taeyong sighs.

they stay in silence until the nurse supervising them leaves the room for a second and ten leans close to taeyong's face.

taeyong is suddenly dizzy.

"do you have an eating disorder or something? is that why you're here?" ten whispers. taeyong scoots back.

"um"

"you don't have to answer that, but i just figured since you barely eat your food"

taeyong nods and ten exhales.

"i'm here because i tried to kill myself, so i don't know which one of us wins," ten laughs. taeyong's eyebrows raise in surprise at ten laughing after that sentence. 

taeyong notices ten's eyes on him a little more than usual that day.

-

ten puts his eggs on taeyong's plate at breakfast.

"i saw you usually only eat your eggs, so here"

taeyong blushes and ten just smiles bigger.

-

during the movie later, ten and taeyong share a bean bag chair against the nurses' wishes. 

ten doesn't miss how taeyong hasn't eaten anything all day.

he leans closer to taeyong.

"you're beautiful. your body is beautiful, you know that?" 

-

taeyong is set to leave today and his head is spinning. 

he doesn't want to leave yet, and he never thought he would want to stay at a psych ward. 

"can i please give ten my number for when he leaves?" taeyong pleads. the doctor shakes her head and apologizes, but taeyong knows she's not really sorry. if she were sorry his phone number would be with ten right now. 

-

when he high fives ten goodbye, ten intertwines their fingers with a sad smile.

"you're beautiful. don't forget that"

taeyong notices new scars on ten's arm and wonders how he managed to get that past the nurses here.

"i hope you get out of here soon," taeyong replies.

-

taeyong is not at all surprised when he gets a message from yukhei on facebook saying ten is dead a few months later.

extremely upset, but not surprised.

taeyong never forgets that he's beautiful.


End file.
